Intentional Self Care for Pastors

In the most “normal” of years, taking care of yourself can be a massive challenge. Throw a pandemic into the mix, and all bets are off! Caring for others who have lost jobs, lost loved ones, or struggled with mental and emotional health has taken ministry to entirely new levels. Add to that, the disorientation of shifting plans, an uncertain future, racial, social and political tensions, dwindling numbers, and its clear many ministry workers and pastors are navigating a very tenuous precipice as they move toward the future. For this reason, the oft overlooked self-care has never been more critical. But how do you find time for it? Especially now? 

You have to look for the opportunities to intentionally build selfcare into your life. We spoke with Nathan Harrup, Regional Director of Clinical Mission Integration of AdventHealth. Harrup, the son of a missionary pastor, also served as a pastor for five years before redirecting his career path toward healthcare. He holds both an MBA and an MA in Professional Counseling, He studies burnout and resilience among health care providers, and notes that there are striking similarities between the stresses that physicians and clergy must learn to manage.

According to Nathan Harrup, Regional Director of Clinical Mission Integration at AdventHealth, there are three red flags that you are on the road to burnout:

1.     Emotional exhaustion – you are depleted and either unable to feel certain emotions or unable to regulate them

2.     Depersonalization – you experience a feeling of being detached from yourself

3.     Lack of purpose or a reduced sense of accomplishment - you start doubting the value of your work.

Physical Health

Remember when Pastor Rick Warren made national headlines for his remarkable weight loss? Turns out he isn’t alone. A variety of studies all point to the same thing: American pastors have a weight problem. When we carry around excess weight, we are not performing at our optimal best (not to mention short-circuiting our life expectancies). So, here’s the advice you may have heard before, but it bears repeating because it’s important we get this right: Take care of your body!

·      Sleep – Get 6-9 hours of sleep each night. Sleep has been proven to improve memory, mental and emotional health, and help prevent disease. 

·      Nutrition – When it comes to selfcare, the kinds of foods you fuel your body with are important. Diets rich in veggies and fruit have been associated with daily feelings of positive well-being. Fuel your body with high-quality fats (i.e. fish, avocado, nuts), minerals, vitamins and healthy carbs. Stay hydrated, focusing on at least 60 ounces of water each day. Don’t rush your meals – eat mindfully. Add color to your plate through fruits and vegetables and limit caffeine and alcohol consumption. Last but not least, give yourself permission to indulge once in a while and plan ahead. 

·      Exercise and Sunlight– If the idea of exercise has you running to the couch with your hands over your ears, it’s time to reframe it! “Pastors tend to think extremes when it comes to exercise,” Harrup observes. “You don’t need to become a runner.  In fact, walking may be more appropriate for some, and has a lot of great benefits. Personally, I try to get out for a walk every single day, even if it’s raining and cold. Just do it. Put on your boots, grab your umbrella and go outside.” Walking is an easy activity to build into your daily schedule. Need to work out an idea or challenge or talk with someone? Take your meeting outside, on a walk! Getting sunshine and connecting with nature has a positive impact on your mental energy. 

Avoid Isolation

Research shows that one of the most powerful predictors of resilience is social support. That, however, can be difficult for pastors who tend to keep their circles tight and small. Harrup suggests two groups every pastor should have. 

“First, have a peer group outside of your church environment,” he says.  “This is a safe group of colleagues you can talk to who will help you get out of your own head and normalize how you are feeling.” 

Secondly, he suggests finding an informal group out in the community. Again, this is not a group associated with the church you serve. “This is a group that helps you embrace the fact that you have a need for friends,” Harrup explains. “It could be a dinner group, a book group, or a group of friends you meet out for breakfast. The point is, it’s completely unrelated to your job – you are just connecting with people as friends.” 

What brings joy?

“Ask yourself, ‘what is it I do that restores me?’” Harrup suggests. 

Whether you used to play the piano, work with wood or enjoy photography, maybe it’s time to pick it up again. Creativity feeds the soul and can give you a mental break during stressful seasons. Additionally, hobbies that involves other people, such as joining a book group or walking club, build in that community outlet as well! 

If you find yourself stumped to answer that question, maybe it’s something you do in your work responsibilities. Identify that activity and make sure it’s part of your daily activities!

Boundaries

One of the greatest mistakes many ministry leaders make is not being firm with boundaries.  Resist being the person who responds to every crisis. When you are home with your family, BE PRESENT! 

There is a stereotype of a pastor’s family getting the leftovers of their time and attention. Remember, pastors, your first mission field is your family.

Give yourself permission to leave things unfinished in the context of boundaries and spend time prioritizing what matters most, whether that’s getting out on a walk or spending time with loved ones. This is especially important in the wake of the pandemic when so many plans have been placed on hold. 

 Be flexible

Last but not least, during this challenging season Harrup says it’s time to learn how to “be flexible, adaptable and opportunistic. Look for the unexpected opportunities today to make choices that may not have immediate impact but touch the future. You may need to let go of routines and regimens and just go with the flow. In seasons such as a pandemic, we need to approach each day as a blank canvas.  Routines still matter, because they give us a sense of accomplishment, but we need to have the flexibility to consider other ways to achieve the same intrinsic payoff.”

A focused effort toward selfcare goes a long way toward avoiding burnout and serving others more effectively.